


Strangers on a Train

by TooYoungToFeelThisTired



Series: You could have loved me forever. And maybe in another universe, I let you [9]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Angst, Established Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Falling In Love, Five is fifty, Hitman AU, Meeting, No one is related no incest, Older Man/Younger Woman, Strangers to Lovers, Vanya is thirty, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:08:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23756629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TooYoungToFeelThisTired/pseuds/TooYoungToFeelThisTired
Summary: Five was a fifty-year-old hitman. He lived his fair share of life and assumed he would continue for a few more years before he would earn his bullet into the head retirement. He didn't think he would meet anyone he could care for. He didn't think she would mean this much to him.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves
Series: You could have loved me forever. And maybe in another universe, I let you [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1374196
Comments: 26
Kudos: 162





	Strangers on a Train

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own anything

_Maybe there's a universe out there — happening now — where we end up together. Maybe there's a universe where I'm the right person for you. Where I adore every nice thing you did for me without starting to resent you. A universe where you actually end up with someone who appreciates you. Where both of us can shed our baggage and curiosity and issues. If you think of it all this way, then it's like neither of us did anything wrong. You just found me in the wrong universe. That's all. Because you could have loved me forever. And maybe in another universe, I let you.― Gaby Dunn_

* * *

It was exactly 5:34 P.M and the train was once again having a four minutes delay. It was probably for the best as the man once again arrived late as well. He had been doing it a lot lately probably because of the sidewalk that was being repaired outside his office since last Wednesday.

It was getting warmer since it was the middle of the spring so now the man had to carry his suit jacket along with his briefcase. Luckily, he was the type who probably didn't think anything can happen to him or he could get robbed so he always put his briefcase on the ground as they were all standing in the train station waiting for their train.

Five noticed these things just like he noticed everything else. It was his job and he was excellent if not the best in it. He wasn't humble or self-aware, but he knew that at the age of fifty there were new recruits who were getting faster and stronger than him so it was a safe bet soon someone will come who would be better than him. Well, all things must come to an end, but he still had a few years before he would _retire_ which was in his business just a fancy word for getting a bullet into his head.

He looked around as the man, his mark, was up to nothing unusual but checking his phone. He was probably texting his wife the way he usually did after work, every day, even though he knew he would see her in an hour or so. Five didn't fully understand the sentiment, but then again, Five also knew a big part of it was guilt about the child they lost a few months before. Five knew a lot about the man and his life. He had to. He had been planning his killing for two months now. Since the man rarely went anywhere alone except to and from work. So Five started to take the same train ride home.

On Friday at 5.30 P.M, the platform became a crowded place with everyone pushing each other to get closer to the train and have a better seat. The man was no exception as Five saw him a couple of times getting too close. And it proved to be a good idea for accidental death.

In Five's line of work, there were no murders or killings, just accidents. It was a strict policy and the reason why every agent had to be a master in observation and planning which was essential to plan a murder that would look like an accident. And Five was doing it for almost thirty years so he was more than good in it. The planning was dare he say _fun_. He enjoyed a good puzzle making sure all the pieces fit into a portrait of a perfect seemingly unpredictable or accident.

He looked around a bit not to obviously. It was Monday. There weren't as many people as there would be on Friday when they were coming from this part of the city home for the weekend. It was just the people who took this train every day from work.

There was a large man who was suffering from diabetes and obesity but still went to the fast food place after work by the look of his shirt. There was the woman in her late forties who was taking the train to her lover as she often called her husband in a hushed voice trying to make it sound she would be stuck in work a bit longer. And there was the woman with the violin who…put her violin down.

Five paused at that. Since the two months he had been taking the train and gathering info about his mark and some _basic_ useful info about the people on the train, the woman always carried the heavy violin case on her back. Unlike his mark who didn't seem to care about his briefcase more than a means to help him with the day. The woman saw the violin as her previous possession and only ever put it down once on the train. If there weren't many people, she let it sit next to her on a cushioned seat only settling it down once they came to check the tickets. Due to this, her putting the case down caught Five's interest. It was a small deviation in the woman's behavior, but Five knew how even those could have essential meaning in his line of work.

He started to make two small steps closer to her.

She had her back to him which was another thing. She usually didn't stand this close to the tracks. As Five always notice everyone and everything, he noticed her as well. She was always alone, never made phone calls or received as far as he could tell, let the elderly have her seat even if it meant she had to stand while holding her violin case. She stuck to herself sometimes politely smiling and nodding if someone said something close to her the way strangers comment on the weather or talk about the last night's game. And she didn't have anyone in her life she wanted to impress not even herself.

Five knew this based on her clothing and hair. She clearly played in the orchestra two blocks away from the station even though she was never on any of the major billboards or posters which Five noticed in passing. However, she wore baggy unfit clothes that were supposed to hide her skinny figure in plain unremarkable colors with her hair tied into a ponytail but sticking out. The woman never wore makeup and from the few times, he saw her face he could see she had circles under her eyes probably from insomnia.

She didn't seem jumpy of people standing close to her which likely meant she wasn't assaulted so her choice of clothing and her lack of taking care of her appearance had to more or less meant she simply gave up on herself.

Her leg twitched and Five frowned.

He noticed something on Friday evening but due to it not being important at the moment he didn't pay much attention to it. A man shouted that someone stepped on his foot, and Five like everyone else turned around to see what the problem was on his way into the train, when he briefly glanced down at the woman with the violin case, he noticed she wasn't looking at the shouting man. Her eyes were unfocused in front of her. Five didn't pay attention to it and turned around continuing to walk, but perhaps that was the first and most important clue he needed about the woman's odd behavior today.

When her leg twitched again just as they heard the signalization for the upcoming train Five was sure his assumption was correct and walked to her.

'Here, let me help you with that,' he said as he grabbed the woman's elbow in one hand, confirming that she was very skinny failing to take care of herself when it came to proper eating and lifestyle, seemingly to get her attention even if he knew it was alarming and questionable to just grab a stranger woman's arm and took her violin case from the ground with his free hand.

The woman looked at him and Five gave her what he knew was a very charming smirk, 'Oh, it's quite heavy no wonder you put it down. You should be careful,' he said his eyes moving from the case back to her, his hand still on her elbow holding her firmly as the train was stopping by the platform, 'Wouldn't want something to happen to what I have no doubt is a nice violin.'

The woman watched him for several moments as the train finally stopped, blinking and letting out a sharp breath of air as Five could see she only now realized what she was about to do, 'Thank you, yes.'

She was still a bit disoriented and now in shock by the idea of almost committing suicide by jumping in front of the train.

'No worries, let's find some seats,' he told her and started to gently drag her into the train. He didn't have to keep his hand on her elbow there was no danger of the woman jumping in front of the train now that it stopped, but maybe Five felt a tiny bit irritated with the woman for even trying that.

Clearly, it was a spur of the moment decision. The woman was depressed and lonely, but Five didn't notice suicidal tendencies in her until now probably because she was only thinking about it. She put down her violin because as he already knew it was her precious and most important possession and the thought of damaging it even after her death was worse than killing herself. Five had his first gun inside a small box in his new fake apartment. He always carried it around even if it dangerous to have any _important_ possessions, so he could understand the woman's love for her violin. She wanted to jump and end it or maybe just played with the thought and wouldn't actually go through with it just take the case and get on the train once it stopped, but Five couldn't risk that. He couldn't risk a woman committing suicide on Monday and then his mark, the man falling to his _accidental_ death on Friday. That wouldn't be accidental at all, it would be suspicious, and it would be the last thing Five wanted or needed right now. He needed to occupy the woman at least until he managed to deal with his mark and then some not to make it look suspicious.

He dragged the woman to a seat in the middle car making sure he would still have a good view of the man. He sat her down, but she was probably still in too much shock to even notice. He was far more careful with the case as he set it down next to her probably because he could respect that aspect of the woman for loving a belonging.

Five unbuttoned his suit jacket and sat down opposite from her.

'So which orchestra?' he asked politely. People liked to talk about themselves, even people who didn't talk much, and especially people who felt lonely and didn't have many people to talk to.

The woman blinked before she swallowed a bit, 'Uh, sorry?'

He smiled at her patiently, 'Which orchestra? The violin? It's obvious you play.'

'Oh,' she said still looking a bit confused before she looked at the case and then back at him letting out a bit hysterical and dry chuckle before she closed her eyes her brows pulled into a frown as she tried to concentrate, 'Sorry, I'm a bit-Icarus on the 25th.'

She opened her eyes and nodded adding to empathize to her answer, 'Ah, sounds lovely.'

'It's not-yes, thank you,' she said again and even tried to give him a polite smile which was still more of a grimace before she stood up, 'Uh, excuse me.'

Five nodded and watched her head to the side of the bathrooms probably to wash her face and get some water. He was sure she wouldn't try anything now she was too much in shock but in a way, she proved to herself she was alive and she existed and she didn't have to kill herself over loneliness.

He checked his mark, who was now looking out of the window and then turned back to the violin case. She must have been clearly still in shock if she left the case there, or he already earned her trust. The thought made him frown. She shouldn't trust people so easily. He didn't.

When she came back, a drop of water falling down her chin to her grey hoodie. Another thing about her. She overdressed. It was the middle of spring and hot, she could wear a shirt with short sleeves, but she chose a hoodie that he was sure had a t-shirt under it. It briefly made Five think if the woman also performed self-harm, but she didn't have any twitches checking her sleeves or wrists, but one could never know. He once spent a month staging a break-in gone wrong before he noticed the mark was cutting the side of her thighs so no one would see the scars and decided to go for an accidental suicide. He learned early on that women were more complicated and hide much more than men. It also made them more challenging in Five's opinion.

The woman gave him a polite smile. It was more believable this time.

'Thank you again,' she said. She said it far too often although Five had to excuse the amount of using the word on shock, 'Do you work nearby?'

'I work for an insurance company,' he said. It was his real fake cover. If the police started to ask people about him, he had to have a believable story. He even had an insurance company cover on a rented floor in one of the buildings not far from the station.

He cast his charming smirk, 'Nothing as exciting or soul-lifting as music I'm afraid.' The woman could use a compliment.

She smiled again only politely. Was he losing his touch? Or she was just not interested?

'You didn't use to come by train,' she said next searching for something in her pockets. This caused Five to pause. So she noticed. She probably took this train every day for a year or more so she noticed everyone who used it daily.

She pulled out a small tissue and wiped her hands before she said in her voice a bit quieter, 'I just notice.' She lowered her head probably realizing it was an odd thing to say. He wondered how long it had been since she engaged in polite conversation, 'My car broke down, and I didn't want to fix it yet. You could say I have fallen into car laziness.'

It was a lie of course. He only started to use this train because of his mark, but the woman's lips lifted into a quick smile. This was wasn't polite. This was sudden and very close to a real one.

'Car laziness?' she asked looking up at him again, and he shrugged his shoulders, 'Everyone has laziness of some kind,' he looked to the side like he was thinking when really he was checking onto his mark again, 'It's like you're a very collective and adult-like person. You pay bills on time, you take out your trash before it starts to smell, you go to yearly doctor's, dentist's and vet's appointments, but there is this one thing in your life which you're just lazy to deal with even though you know it's stupid to be lazy because you should do the thing.'

The woman blinked looking a bit away before she looked at him again, 'I don't believe you.'

Five blinked surprised a bit smirking. _Interesting_.

'Why is that?' he asked in a challenging voice and the woman slowly shook her head, 'You're not that kind of person. You're too-' she waved her hand in front of him before chuckling in embarrassment as she realized what she was saying and doing. It was then that Five noticed her cheeks turned into a fine shade of scarlet when she was embarrassed. She looked better now, 'You look too collected and having it all figured out. I think there is a different reason you don't drive a car anymore.'

Five watched her. He analyzed her voice and her appearance and came to a conclusion she was just honestly talking with him. It would have been alarming if someone else told him that and he would wonder if he needed to find a way to neutralize them for the sake of the mission, but looking at the woman, he was sure she was everything she looked like she was, the woman with the violin case from his train.

He leaned closer to her, and a bit confused she leaned as well. He smirked at her seeing how her eyebrows twitched as she tried to force her eyes not to look at his lips, 'Maybe I failed my drivers' license test and have to take this train as punishment to spent time with Icarus's finest.'

She chuckled and shook her head pulling away, but the hint of a smile and amusement was still on her face. No, this woman didn't want to kill herself. Not really. She just wanted to know if someone would care enough to stop her. This meant if Five continued to talk to her, she wouldn't try it again and his mission would run its course the way he planned it.

'I'm Vanya,' she said suddenly and raised her hand, 'It feels weird not to know the name of the stranger on the train I'm talking to.'

_Vanya_

He wouldn't guess it. But names had always little meaning to him beyond the introduction.

'James,' he accepted her hand even though it should be the older person to suggest introduction and shaking hands. Her hand wasn't wet anymore. It was soft yet with a firmness probably because she had to play the violin. Her handshake was good, solid. Not the kind he would expect from someone like her, but she wanted to end it too quickly probably not use to shaking many people's hands touching hers. He did notice her hands were a bit cold considering it was spring and she was overdressed, but she was in shock before and washed her hands so many she just needed longer to warm up.

Five checked his mark again before they continued to talk.

Vanya was a third chair violinist in the Icarus orchestra. Five was no expert in music, but he knew enough to know the third chair meant back and that she either wasn't very good, talented or lost her spark. Five thought it was the last one since she had to have the first two of she made it past auditions and got hired.

Vanya was an only child with no parents. From the way she spoke Five understood she was close with them putting a lot of her relationships on hold or dismissing them at the beginning for certain and stabile ones with her parents. Vanya missed her parents a lot and after she alienated everyone she used to know and have, she wasn't able to form new relationships. She didn't say it like that, but Five's whole life was about filling the blanks in other people's lives.

Vanya wasn't shy as he thought at first just a bit awkward because she didn't talk to people often. She sometimes drifted a bit or wasn't sure what to say or if she could say what she wanted to but, Five could tell she wasn't shy. She was always smart because she rather thought before she said anything even if something she ended up overthinking it. It was still a quality he liked about her. However, there was one thing he learned and found annoying about the woman.

Vanya didn't know good coffee.

'That's-,' started Five and closed his eyes almost at disbelief when she said she drank the cheap mud she claimed to be coffee, 'That's not coffee. That's something they found in their backyard on the grass after the rain and put a price tag on it.'

She let out an offended chuckle, but seriously Five couldn't believe she said that. No wonder, she thought about killing herself when she was drinking that garbage.

'It's the only one I ever had. And honestly, I never heard about the one you drink,' she defended herself, and Five gave her a disbelief look he didn't bother to mask.

She was almost thirty years old. That was almost twenty years younger than him. When she was born he got recruited, by the time he was her age he visited about fifty-five different countries all over the world, killed about eighty-nine people staging it like an accident, and slept with about forty-seven different women. He wrote seven theses about his physics' theories, under the pseudonym of course, and had about two thousand eight hundred sixty-five different flavors or brands of coffee to know that Valhalla Java Ground Coffee was the best one after which he stopped bothering with other coffee but that one or black if he was really desperate.

But back to the point, Vanya was almost thirty and in her life, she experienced and achieved nothing which would make her life at least a bit more interesting and therefore bearable. This woman needed life and _good_ coffee.

Five shook his head feeling suddenly older than he ever had and said, 'Find it, buy it, drink it and worship it.'

She chuckled at least the amusement could be seen in her eyes now. She looked pleased and completely different from the woman he saved before. It was a wonder what a real smile could do to a person's face. It suited her.

* * *

'I don't like it,' was the first thing Five heard and actually paid attention to other than his mark on Tuesday as he was waiting for the train ride. The mark came on time today and was texting his wife again. Some people were predictable.

He turned around and spotted Vanya holding up a coffee cup and passing it to him, 'It's for you.'

Five noticed her hair was looking better today. She washed it the night before and properly brushed it. Her clothes were still baggy, but she left the hoodie at home this time only wearing a shirt with sleeves which were too long and only the undershirt and bra under it. It was an improvement.

Five took the coffee cup their fingers briefly brushing her hands were warmer than yesterday when they shook them maybe it was because of the warm liquid inside but the Vanya had to carry it for a while which made it warm not hot anymore.

He understood what the coffee was. Even if they avoid the subject and didn't talk about it, it was clear Vanya knew what Five did because upon her leaving the train she thanked him again in a voice more serious and quieter than before. They both knew what she was thinking about and what he did.

Still, she should stop thanking him at some point.

They got into the train again and Five made sure they sat away from the mark but so he would be able to check on him.

They started to talk again. Talking to Vanya was easy, even entertaining. Five didn't engage in conversation on a mission if it wasn't a part of it. It was fun to make up stories about his life or rather twist some aspects of his life between the lies. He wondered if Vanya believed him. She wasn't as naïve as she looked based on how she spoke and the paper spray she carried in the side pocket of her violin case. She just didn't care enough about herself, but she wouldn't risk bad things happening to her.

They talked about their jobs how long did they work there, stuff like that before Vanya said, 'I'm worried I lost it.'

Five blinked, 'Lost what?'

'Whatever motivates people to try harder at work. I thought the happiest day in my life was when I got the place in Icarus,' she said and looked out of the window with a slight frown probably thinking about her past.

He looked at the violin case stealing a glance at his mark, 'Do you still like to play?'

'Yes,' she said in a heartbeat. She still _loved_ to play.

She settled down again, 'Just…not in the orchestra.'

'Well, you're still young and have a music degree and resume you can use to your advantage. You can find somewhere else where you like to play or something else you will like to do and play for yourself if it makes you happier,' he told honestly.

She grimaced for some reason, and he was sure she was about to complain or find cons to that before she said, 'You're not old.'

'I'm fifty years old,' he told her, and she shrugged her shoulders, 'My dad had me when he was fifty. I never thought of him as old. He died when I was twenty-five. He always said he had a good life on his own for fifty years, and then the best life after he had me and my mom.'

Five thought it was probably something a loving father would say to an only daughter. It didn't have to be true.

When she looked away, she took his silence as disapproval or as she got into a topic he didn't want to talk about. She was embarrassed again. Her cheeks were scarlet and lovely again.

'Do you ever think about changing your career?' she asked after a moment to change the conversation.

Five smirked, 'Never.'

He had to admit she looked better today.

* * *

On Wednesday, Five realized he enjoyed talking to Vanya. She was becoming less awkward and wittier. He liked challenging conversations.

His mark didn't text his wife after he got to the train station. They probably had a fight. The woman who was having an affair almost got caught as she met up with some colleague who suggested the take the train together. She probably had to apologize to her lover for not coming. Another middle-aged man who needed glasses had a cold.

Five made sure he, Vanya and the mark were standing and seated far away from him.

Today, they shared childhood stories that day. After he told her how he fell down an apple tree in his neighbors' backyard, he realized there was more truth to his stories than before.

Vanya's hair was good today as well. He noticed she wore a different shirt than yesterday. One that was far better and fitting showing just how skinny she really was and shoes that surprisingly weren't her old used up sneakers. But the most important part was the eyeliner which made her eyes just a bit more noticeable. She had nice brown eyes a shade darker than her hair. With a bit of an effort, Five could admit she was lovely to look at the woman.

'You look nice today,' he told her right before the train pulled at her stop.

She paused in grabbing her violin case and slowly looked at him, her cheeks on fire which he noticed carried on through her neck as well. A strange thought made its way into his mind wondering if she could blush all the way to her chest. Not many women could, but not many women blushed so profoundly and nicely as Vanya.

'Thank you.'

* * *

On Thursday, Vanya was running late and avoided eye contact with him a bit. She didn't have an eyeliner that day, but Five noticed her eyes were a bit red. She was probably crying not long ago and then washed her face.

Her shoes were a pair of nice black flats and her shirt was clean and new again. Her hair was a bit messy, but maybe that was just from crying.

'I like the shoes,' he told her earning a small smile before she told him she had them since she was a teenager pointing out how unfair it was some people like _him_ were so tall while other people like _her_ were so short. It was true. She was very petite and short. Maybe the shortest woman he ever met and talked to. It was a wonder he didn't mistake her for a girl the first time he saw her from the back. Maybe because the weight in her shoulders with which she used to walk. Come to think of it she was walking a bit easier now. It got Five thinking what kind of a person Vanya could have been if all it took for her to take better care of herself and feel better was for him to show some attention to her.

When she sneezed and tried to look for some tissues, she let out a sighed, 'I must have…forgot them.'

Five knew she probably used all of them wherever she was crying. Since she was able to wash her face it was probably in the restroom in her work.

He gave her some, and she gave him a small smile before turning around a bit.

He checked his mark. The man looked different today. He was always bothered by something. He almost forgot his briefcase on the station and didn't text his wife or look down his phone all through the whole time Five glanced at him. Maybe he fought with his wife about trying again for a baby. Maybe he fought because of the baby they lost.

Five returned his gaze to Vanya. Either way, all will end tomorrow.

'I had a bit of a bad day at work,' she confessed as she put the tissue into her pocket like always.

Five blinked sounding surprised, 'Oh.'

Vanya gave him a look like she knew he was faking it. It was strange he admitted. Sometimes he purposely let it seem like he let Vanya in on his masks and facades when they concerned her. He never did that before. But it was pleasant how it changed their dynamic and pushed their conversations. She was…easy and nice to talk to.

She sighed, 'My coworker just told me something I was thinking for a while now anyway.' Probably something about her lack of trying to play better in front of others even though she could.

'Well, either way, if she's just your coworker and not a friend, she was being a bitch for whatever she told you,' he said and earned a small chuckle.

'What's about the man?' when she asked Five froze his calm expression in place, 'Hm?'

'The man, I notice you sometimes look at him. Do you know him?' she asked not putting a lot into the words. She was just asking, she wasn't suspecting anything which was good.

Five looked at the man again for emphasis, 'He reminds me of someone. I think he looks a bit like Ralph Fiennes.'

Vanya then stood up and went to check the zipper on her violin case which was fine turning her back to him before she sat back down, 'Maybe, or a bit like Liam Neeson. But those two actually look a bit alike.'

Five smirked.

Before leaving, she said they needed to come sooner if they wanted to get a seat tomorrow.

Five made sure to tell her he would be late and ask her to save one for him if possible in the first or second car. He didn't want her anywhere near the back.

* * *

On Friday, Five didn't pay attention if his mark texted his wife or look around to find Vanya.

By 5:30 there was a crowd of people occupying the platform. It was people who finally got to go home on the weekend from their city apartments to their suburban or country houses and their families. There were a lot of people with briefcases and luggage, some students returning from the dorm for the week, and other people. Everyone was pushing their way to the front. Everyone wanted a seat.

The man chose the back car as usual too close to the tracks.

Five was quick and invisible. People were checking their phones and looking for the train. No one cared about another man making his way to the front.

When the signal for the train's arrival came, Five stopped behind the man making sure was blocked from the camera view by the people around him and push him.

The man let out a small yelp his phone falling out of his hand which meant he did text his wife or maybe he was about to and the briefcase on the ground ending up knocked over.

The man fell on the tracks.

People around Five started to panic and shout some tried to get closer some away. It was a throng. It was impossible for anyone competent to come in time and help the man with the crowd of people between. It was too late to signal the train to spot although Five had no doubt someone behind the glass windows of the station employees tried.

Five moved with the crowd. Just a little less over two minutes left.

The man wasn't moving. He must have hit his head.

'Sir, can you hear me? Sir!'

Five froze and looked around. There she was. Of course, she was there.

Vanya was in the back close to the tracks kneeling and raising her arm trying to reach the man. Impossible for someone so short and the man unconscious on the tracks.

'Sir! Grab my hand!' she shouted and Five heard the words of his previous Handler telling his twenty-year-old rookie self in his head.

_Don't get involved on a mission. Ever!_

_Won't be a problem._

The people, the crowd was moving. They stopped being people and became a crowd that moved back and forth pushing and pulling one another with them. And right now they were pushing dangerously close against Vanya who was kneeling on the ground. The crowd was pushing her closer to the tracks.

Five could see it, they would push her too far. Someone had their knee against her back. Too close. They were too close to her.

The sound of breaks overshadowed the noises of the crowd. It was still too late. The man was too close and the train wouldn't be able to stop in time.

Five rushed without thinking. Before he saved her in a calculative move. If she jumped in front of the train, he couldn't complete his mission today.

Today he saved her because…he just did.

He pushed the man behind her away and grabbed her around the middle from the back just as one of her knees slipped over the edge. He threw them backward knowing he risked them being trampled down, but on such a short notice gain outgrown the risk.

Five ended up on his side, Vanya in his arms.

She let out a startled sound maybe it was referred to almost slipping to the tracks, maybe to the man about to be crushed by the train or maybe to being thrown to the ground.

Five spun Vanya around and pushed her head against his chest.

He managed to snap at her not to look right before the train crushed his mark and people on the platform started to scream and run away in panic and shock.

Over the feeling of his own rabid heart and blood rushing through his ears, she felt Vanya tightly hold onto his jacket. Her fingers were almost ripping through the fabric as tried to hold onto him for dear life.

His heart was still beating threatening to explode. Five was confused. On a mission, before he had to outrun the police and managed to run for six blocks without a stop his heart wasn't beating as fast as it was now.

His fingers found themselves inside Vanya's soft hair. He could smell her shampoo and now. Honey and vanilla. It was a good combination. But far better was her own scent. He was never this close to her. He was never this aware of her even when they spoke together.

Five stroke her hair and kept her close.

He realized his heart was beating so rapidly because of fear of Vanya being in danger. Because of Vanya almost…

He was never scared before. Even when he was worried about a problem it was mostly irritation and a kick-start for a new plan, or plan alteration to make it work.

Fear was beaten out of him on the first week of training when they kept him tied to a chair for seven days denying the existence of his employers and their organization.

He was never scared or even worried about anyone else's well-being. If someone from the civilians got hurt or killed collateral damage to help the mission.

He was never scared about anyone he cared for before because he…didn't care about anyone before. Not really. Everyone was a passing face, someone to come across and never see or care again. She shouldn't be different. He didn't know her. He talked to her four times in total. He shouldn't care for her.

_'Do you ever think about changing your career?'_

_'Never.'_

But he cared.

The police came and almost everyone gave a statement. They took his phone number, name, place of work and where he lived. Five could tell the main detective already ruled it out as an accident. They would check the cameras and see the place was too crowded and maybe the station will put up posters and warnings not to stay too close to the tracks or to one another.

Vanya was currently sitting next to him with her head between her knees as Five instructed her.

The detective looked at her with a bit of a fatherly expression point a pen her way, 'Is she-'

'She'll be. She's just in shock,' assured him Five and nodded.

They shook hands. Five made a good expression on the man and told him most of what he could even for Vanya so she could breathe and try not to puke.

'For the record, the man hit his head pretty bad. He was probably dead before the impact,' said the detective a bit too loudly probably for Vanya's sake.

She looked a bit just as the man was leaving.

'Come on, I'll get you home,' he said and helped her up taking her case into the other hand. She was in no state to go on her own.

Five called a cab, and Vanya gave her address without a single hesitation before she sank into the backseat and the side of his jacket. Her face was pale, but she looked a bit better.

Five noticed she had the eyeliner again since it was a bit smooched under her eyes.

He reached his hand and pressed his knuckles against her cheek. It was cold and sweaty.

Her brown eyes looked up at him. She didn't say anything or try to stop him as his thumb carefully tried to wipe clean the eyeliner off her cheek.

Vanya just remained still and watched him.

'All done,' he said and let his hand fall away. He was a bit in shock as well. He never _cared_ for anyone before as well.

She nodded with her eyes still on him as she said, 'It's so horrible.'

He didn't say anything and let her talk. They had a couple of minutes with the traffic and everything before the man would get them there.

'I sometimes…I wondered what it would be like,' she confessed. She didn't need to finish, they both knew he knew what she meant, 'I never imagined it would be so horrible. Everyone pushing and pulling to go see and run away and the noises and he was just laying there. I-I didn't think it would be so horrible.'

'For him it was quick. Maybe he was already dead before the impact,' Five said, 'If he fell any other way, he could have lost a limp but survive and live a life in pain and misery. Sometimes dead is a reward and a life can be a punishment. A life injured can also be a punishment for trying to end life too soon.'

Vanya was still looking at him. She understood what he meant.

Her hand found his jacket again and she crushed the fabric between her fingers, 'Thank you for saving my life, again.'

'You don't have to thank me for that,' he assured her, and she smiled at him sadly, but it counted.

The cab stopped and Five handed her the violin case. He didn't want to risk knowing which was her apartment or building although he would be able to tell if he needed that information.

Vanya's fingers held onto his a bit too long as he handed the case to her though, 'Good night.'

The told the man to let him out a block away, and he walked the rest of the way. It was good for thinking. He needed to sort out a few things in his mind. Mainly about Vanya.

Once he got home, he contacted his handler about the accomplishment od of the mission and was informed he would have a new one in two weeks as he requested. He needed to remain on the train for the next two weeks in case the police found something. It would be too suspicious if he stopped taking the train even with the accident.

That didn't help with his dilemma with Vanya. He couldn't ignore her on the train, and he doubted she could afford a cab ride every day. There wasn't enough money in classical music.

He went to his secret stash and lightened a cigarette on the balcony of his fake apartment.

He liked his job so he continued to do it. He liked his coffee so he continued to drink it. He liked to research and write theses and research papers on physics so he did that as well. He cared for Vanya…

…so he will continue to meet with her.

* * *

On Monday Vanya was late.

Five almost believed she wouldn't come at all, but once she did she was back to her hoodie and sneakers. Still, she didn't look as down or uncared for as before. Maybe the clothes didn't make men.

They picked a different car and at the beginning, the conversation was awkward with a lurking shadow of the accident. They could hear people around them talking about it, and they small talk about the weather before falling into silence.

It was strange to see her today and knowing she had a meaning to him. His employees couldn't know, and they wouldn't. They didn't care about the agents as long as they did their work on time. Five knew some of his coworkers had even families with kids usually for cover but still… it counted as something.

She finally broke the conversation by saying, 'I read The Diary of a Young Girl from Anna Franke.'

Five smiled.

Vanya _loved_ to read books.

Books were apparently another thing they had in common. Five started to read a little after he started his first real assignment. He needed to feel the time when he was waiting for the best moment to strike. He enjoyed going through the newest physics research and papers and sleep with unimportant women, but when he needed to distance himself from that seeing formulas and equations under his eyelids, he tried Orwell's Animal Farm. He read a lot of books in school but there was a difference to be a mindless shadow behind a desk that needed to answer correctly twenty basic questions and to actually read something for himself. He liked to read. It was productive, many times while going through the steps of a character believable or not he figured out his own moves to be more believable in what he did and how he acted.

So, they talked about books, and Five liked Vanya a bit more knowing she could quote most of the books she read.

Unfortunately, a forty-minute train ride wasn't enough to discuss their read list, so when the train stopped and Vanya sighed standing up Five did the same and said, 'Coffee? I will even ask them to get some mud from the nearby park.'

She reached out to hit him, but he already walked around her grabbing her case for her.

They talked for a couple of hours almost until it was dark. Dark in the middle of April meant it was very late.

'I don't watch television,' he told her after she finished comparing the Handmaid's Tale book to the TV show.

Vanya blinked, 'At all?'

'Just the news,' he shrugged his shoulders. They finished their coffees a long time ago and it was probably time to walk Vanya home.

The woman shook her head and pulled out a pen from the pocket in her case where she carried the pepper spray. She took one of the napkins and wrote down a few things before she passed it to him.

'Watch these shows. I think you will like them,' she said and Five eyed the names of the shows she wrote on the napkin.

'Don't get your hopes up. Your book taste might be good, but your coffee taste is a shitty one,' he told her, and she rolled her eyes.

Five didn't miss that at the bottom of the napkin she wrote her phone number. She didn't comment on it in any way, and he walked her home. He made sure the napkin was carefully tugged inside his pocket.

When he got home, he used the number to get her full name.

_Vanya Hargreeves_

And then dig up everything he could about her. There wasn't anything too interested or out of the ordinary about her life.

Her parents were fifty and forty-five when they had her. They passed a few years ago. Cancer and stroke.

No siblings. No arrests. No husbands or ex-husbands.

Nothing to make her stick out or seem like she wasn't who she said she was.

As far as Five could tell she really was just a stranger he met on the train.

* * *

On Saturday, Five found himself to be bored.

Usually, he would read a book, work on another paper, watch and read about world news. Today, he was a bit in conflict about which of those things should get his attention.

He met up with Vanya every day after her work and ended up in the small coffee shop talking about anything they could think up.

He picked up the small napkin Vanya gave him earlier the week and went to see what he would be able to watch ignoring a bit the idea to call the number at the bottom.

_Ozark, Breaking Bad, Killing Eve, Mad Men_

After started with _Ozark,_ and he finished the last episode which was out of the first one he smirked.

She did have good taste.

* * *

On Monday, Vanya wore a blouse, not a shirt and fancy black pants with the same black flats she said she had since high school. She had a bit makeup on her apart from the eyeliner and her hair even if it was pulled back looked more elegant.

'You had an addition,' Five told her and she nodded her subconsciously brushing the side of her pants, 'I got the first chair for the upcoming concert. I figured I will never know if I still like to play in an orchestra or not if I don't try to see how is it to be in charge.'

'I'm sure you will do great,' he told her as he saw how modest she tried to act.

This time he took her out for dinner to a restaurant he noticed the first time they went out for coffee. Her cheeks were scarlet, but she smiled a lot whenever their eyes met. But he already knew she liked him too. She was adorable.

He asked her why she picked up mostly crime TV shows for him to watch.

'People enjoy things they lack in real life,' she said and shrugged her shoulders, 'And they're good shows.'

He walked her home. Now he knew which building and apartment were hers.

Once they paused and Vanya was about to say good night or whatever she wanted to say before they would end their night, Five put his hand on the side of her neck and leaned down.

He kissed her on cheek feeling and hearing her lips parted and the breath she let out. She was surprised. She didn't push him away and once he started to lean away, she felt her try to grab a hold of him before her hand once again fall down. Her cheeks blushing in that color he grew to like. She was stunning like this.

'Why?' she whispered, and Five smirked in a way, he knew she found charming, 'It seems like a good ending of a first date.'

'Date?' she whispered again blinking. Five found it adorable.

He told her she should go inside, and she swallowed seemingly getting over her shock and agreeing. She walked up the stairs but paused and turned around after a moment. He waved at her and waited until she walked inside.

Five wondered when he will get to see Vanya with her hair down.

* * *

On Tuesday, Five waited for her by the main entrance when Vanya came. This time she was wearing a black skirt and blouse with two buttons undo not enough to show anything, but enough to tease. The cherry on top which had him the moment he saw her, however, was her hair being down for the first time since he met her and the red lipstick. He was game.

'Dinner?' she asked, and he nodded already knowing he would have to pay before faking an excuse to the restroom.

They had red wine and talked like usual, but every once in a while when he looked at her, he could tell her mind drifted to the kiss, and she wondered if he would do it again.

He planned to do it. She was adorable, stunning and he cared for her, liked her even. He didn't like or cared for anyone in a very long time. He had a feeling she didn't either since her parents.

He walked her home and before he could lean down and kiss her she titled her head and asked, 'Uh, would you like to come up for coffee?' she raised her hand a bit as if asking him to take it, 'I even bought the expensive and weird flavor you claim to be the best coffee in the world.'

'It is,' he said with certainty and took her hand. It warm and soft now unlike the first time they shook hands.

He followed her through the hallway and up the stairs. She lived in a semi-bad neighborhood and semi-bad building which people rarely cleaned or took care of. Right now, he didn't mind, but he would comment on it and maybe even get her to find another place. The pepper spray now seemed like a more than the right choice.

They let go of each other hand for her to unlock the door. At least she was two longs and a chain inside. Her apartment made him smile a bit.

'What is it?' she asked and touched her hair self-consciously.

Five shook his head, 'I like your place. It's very you.'

Vanya chuckled, and he stepped closer to her.

He touched her cheek and moved down to her neck, 'I like you.'

She smiled a bit and went scarlet again before she whispered into the silence of her apartment, 'I like you too.'

He leaned down and kissed her on the lips this time gently barely touching in a way he knew was teasing. Her lips were soft and wet just like he assumed she already was. He was skilled. He had been with women. He needed to be good to get what he needed for them. This would be different. For Vanya he just wanted it to be good for her, so she would feel good, so he would make her feel good. And he would.

He kissed her again still carefully and painfully slowly making sure there was no mistake he wanted to kiss her but he was taking his damn time.

He felt Vanya lean into him. Her hands-on his chest holding into him her knees breaking as she moaned again the kiss. The vibration and sound caused a thrill to run over him.

He deepened the kiss finally getting a proper taste of her. She was delicious like fine wine or good coffee. Not too sweet or bitter just right. Just right for him.

She stepped closer one of her hand in his hair pulling at it as she demanded he kissed her harder. He complied and even bit into her lower lip teasing her even more as he pulled at it. Then it became a bit hard to focus as they started to run hands over each other and kiss harder like they were almost fighting. It was a while since he had been with a woman who got him to feel anything let alone a spark like this.

He pressed Vanya against her door and moved to her cheek and then neck trying to see how far did her blush lead. He planned to mark the spread with his mouth along with every other place on her body.

'James,' she moaned as she kissed her key bone.

He paused just then for the first time looking at it from a different way. He slept with plenty of women and gave them plenty of names. Never his. His birth name was something he let go of a long time ago and honestly didn't care for as much anymore. He was someone else since the day he got recruited.

'Call me, Five,' he said before he could stop himself.

There was a pause the only noise their mixed panting from making out.

Five straightened himself and looked down at her. She was still pressed against the door.

She blinked as she whispered, 'Five.'

She didn't ask why she should call him that or what it meant. She just said it, and in his whole life, it was possible he never got as aroused as he did when he heard her breathtaking lips say it.

'Five,' she said again and brushed hair her cheeks red, her blouse wrinkled and clearly coming out of her skirt, her eyes blown up a bit.

She bit her red and ruined from kissing lips which only made him want to kiss her again, 'Take me to bed.'

His hands were under her thighs the moment she finished, and he picked her up with ease her legs already coming around his sides and arms around his neck.

He kissed her again. She was weightless.

Between the kissed Vanya coordinated him to her bedroom where he carefully placed her on the bed.

He got between her kissing her again his hands running over her body pulling her shirt completely from her skirt and touching her bare skin.

Vanya moaned again against the kiss and they started to work on her blouse she on the top buttons while he focused on the bottom ones.

She tried to get it off, but they couldn't seem to wait for both acting like teenagers, and she ended up stuck with one arm still in the sleeve. Five kissed her throat and started to move lower pulling her undershirt up over her head and then pulled her bra down to her stomach the straps falling down her shoulders revealing her breasts. She was perfect.

He trailed a line of wet kisses between her breasts and then processed to tease playfully licking and flickering her nipple with his tongue while he palmed and teased with his index and middle finger the other one. He could feel her subtly grinding the knee he placed between her legs.

'Five,' she moaned, and her hand must have found the zipper on her skirt because he felt her pull it lower.

He let her wonderful beast be for now and moved lower hooking his fingers over her skirt and pulling it down revealing her matching to the bra white panties. Could she be anymore irresistible?

He kissed her underbelly feeling her shiver as he moved lower before he got his fingers under her underwear and pulled it down.

She was shaved clean. He could tell she put a lot of work into it all. Inviting him to dinner, then upstairs, dressing like that, to begin with. Did she know what she did to him? He was already hard just by what she allowed him so far and the sight of her. Every time she said his name his cock twitched. She was amazing.

He took her thighs and parted them leaning against one and marking the skin there with a hickey. He really was acting like a teenager.

He slid his finger into her immediately welcomed with her tight and wetness and approved by the low moaning of his name.

'You like that?' he asked knowing full well how hard it was for her to think when he added another finger and curled them upwards his thumb pressing against her clit.

Vanya threw her head back against the bed and started to paint again as he started to move his fingers circling and pushing into her.

He told her he knew how to make her feel good and he would. She tried to answer him, but clearly, it was too much for her as Vanya started to trash on her bed holding onto the sheet for dear life very soon.

'Do you want this as much as I do, Vanya?' he asked her watching with fascination the way she moved against his touch on the bed the bra and half of her shirt and undershirt still stuck to her shoulder. She was breathtaking. Like he was watching a wild animal for the first time. Five was good. He was skilled in this, but making Vanya come was more than to do a good job. He wanted to ruin her. He wanted to see how she looked when she was completely ruined and let go. She was stunning like this panting and letting out moans while slowly sweating and chasing her release. He could even hold back his own release just so see her fully have hers no matter how badly he wanted to replace his fingers and dive into her.

She was so fucking wet and so close. He could tell from the way she started to tense up and clench even more around his fingers.

When he pressed a bit harder against her clit she cried out bending her back off the bed and crying out a bit. She clenched around him completely her wetness running down his palm and wrist. Five thought she was really beautiful when she came. Her body shook in the aftermath her cheek pressed against the sheets.

Five pulled his fingers out and licked them before he parted her legs even more and leaned down. He pressed his mouth over hers.

She cried out still sensitive from last time, 'Five!'

He smirked against her and started to eat her out and lick her and touch everywhere he could reach with her tongue. It felt animalistic the way he could make her let out those noises which drove him insane and made his cock ready to fall off.

He felt Vanya grab onto his hair roughly like he felt her do once before. She could be rough. He knew she could. When he sucked onto her clit hard and mercilessly he felt her body still and another cry to erupt from her in before her body started to shake again in another wave of orgasm.

Five took a hold of her thighs to keep them still as he ate her own feeling her wetness now run down his chin. She tasted musky and good.

His fingers left bruises on the otherwise porcelain skin of her thighs which he noticed when he came up to look at her. She was beyond lost now. A wrecked mess panting hard and shaking against him. Her whole body sparkling with sweat and her thighs shining with his marks and her own wetness.

He kissed her one more time earning a sound close to a half-moan and half-cry. Enough of that for now.

Vanya grabbed him by the front of the jacket and started to pull him toward her.

They kissed as she pushed it off his shoulders mumbling, 'Take it off.'

He got rid of everything and took a condom out of his wallet before tossing everything leaving them the only two things on the bed. Meanwhile, she untangled herself from the blouse and bra. He was hard for her. He wanted to fuck her more than anything at that moment.

Five made a point of kissing the mark the clothing left against her skin before he kissed her lips again pushing her against the bed enjoying her naked body.

He stroked her hair while she hugged him around the neck pulling him closer she still tasted heavenly.

'You're gorgeous, Vanya,' he mumbled against her lips before he kissed her again and pushed himself inside her blinded for a moment by how tight she still was even though she was impossibly wet. This would be pure torture to hold on longer than a few moments.

He took in a deep breath before he felt her softly stroke his hair and looked down to find her smiling at him, 'It's okay.'

They kissed one more time. He was still shaking in her arms. It was a while since he was shaking during sex since it mattered since he felt something more than just arousal, lust or boredom. It was a very long time since he felt the way he felt when started to push inside her. Maybe he never felt like that. He certainly couldn't remember anything order than how wonderfully thigh and perfect Vanya was for him and how her moans and pants made his name his favorite word.

He felt her move her face to the back of his ear and then her lips suck on his earlobe almost making him slip up and come right then. He started to thrust harder into her deeper, not even fully pulling out anymore.

He was restless. He promised himself to make him good for her, make her feel good. He told her as much between his own growls and moans. He knew she was coming when her fingers dug into his side and shoulder her mouth letting out another of that soft cry. He didn't stop and pushed harder making sure she would get the most of it.

'Five!'

He finally let go grabbing a hold of her headboard rather than her. He wanted to leave marks not hurt her. All his senses became overwhelmed with her, her scent, her voice, her sound, her breathing, her presence. All of her. He became completed drowned in it, in her. He didn't even mind. He just let the wave take him and drown him inside her.

The first thing he became aware of after the aftermath was Vanya's hand over his slowly peeling off his fingers from the headboard and linking them with hers. He let her slowly pulling away from her.

Their hands ended up against his lips where he greeted them with a kiss.

Vanya smiled tiredly but satisfied. It was all he wanted really.

He carefully pulled away the condom and tied it up.

She tried to reach for him to stay but he kissed her wrist again.

'This will be quick,' he assured her and went to get rid of the condom and grab a wet towel. They cleaned up a bit and then lied back down side by side just looking at one another.

_'Do you ever think about changing your career?'_

_'Never.'_

He kissed her again.

* * *

On Wednesday morning Five kissed Vanya's naked back below her neck and leaned back to watch the goosebumps find their way on her skin.

Vanya was beautiful. She was the silent beauty only people who saw much of the typical standout and different and extravagant beauty that was everywhere now could understand. Only people who were tired of living too long in the world could understand Vanya's silent beauty. Five could.

He kissed her again.

It was the first time he ever saw her in the morning. It was the first time he woke up next to her. It was the first time he saw her apartment. He learned new things about. Things he liked.

Vanya liked to sleep on her stomach.

Vanya didn't snore or talk from sleep.

Vanya had an alarm clock was set for every day.

When the alarm clock in question rang, Vanya very slowly raised her hand and turned it off before Five could and even slower turned around to face him, 'Good morning.'

He smirked at her and kissed her. The angle was wrong, so it ended up on the corner of her mouth and cheek, 'Good morning.'

Five learned another few things.

Vanya didn't have almost any food in her fridge.

'I'm always late and you keep me up too late for dinner,' she explained when she saw his raised judgmental raised brows. Well, if he was to blame he would have to fix it then.

Five made her put on clothes and took her violin case taking buying them a few bagels and coffee which she almost dropped as she was trying to be faster and pay for them.

* * *

On Monday, he started to work on a new assignment and got a car to able to drive Vanya from work and so she wouldn't know he was no longer in that part of the city.

'Finally got over your laziness and fixed your car?' she asked as she sat in they both knew it wasn't true. She was wearing a dress this time, one he will gladly help her get out once they come to her place. Five spent every day over at Vanya's place with the only exception being Sunday when he had to go pick up his new mission details.

'Don't you know I only did that to win over pretty violinist, Vanya?' he asked her, and she giggled. Her hair was down, and she had eyeliner. She looked happy. He knew she was happy.

'When's the concert?' he asked and she beamed at him. She was excited even if she didn't like the orchestra anymore the concert made her happy, 'In two months. Can I save you a ticket?'

His smile was good, believable as he said yes, but he wasn't sure. In two months, he could be on another assignment. He already had a plan on how to finish this mission in three weeks.

After that Five didn't know where he would be. He could be in another country or the other half of the world by then. His job rarely kept him in one place for more than a year.

He didn't tell Vanya any of that of course. He couldn't. He took her hand kissed her knuckles and drove her to whatever restaurant she wanted to listen to how was her day and pretending he really worked in an insurance company.

_'Do you ever think about changing your career?'_

_'Never.'_

* * *

A little over a week into his assignment, on a Wednesday, Five picked up Vanya with a strange unsure feeling. For a moment while he was tailing his mark, he thought the man saw him. This was after Five was more or less sure the man stopped taking his bipolar medicine. He was twitchy and chaotic, and Five didn't like it. The fact that people were beings of habits and repetitive behavior was very important to his job which was why if he got assigned someone who was a junkie or who was expecting a hit, Five liked the get the job done as soon as possible before his mark would notice anything suspicious.

His handler told him to be careful and make sure it was an accident, but that they trusted his decision. Personally, Five was thinking of breaking into his apartment and staging a suicide with evidence the man was insane and thought his own arm wasn't his.

'You seem stressed. Is everything alright at work?' asked Vanya as they were coming back from dinner to the car.

Five pulled her closer and nodded before he kissed the top of her hair. Vanya made him happy. He never felt like that before. He thought he did with his life, his choices, his experience, and memories, but now that he had her he realized he was just satisfied not really happy. It worried him more and more about what would happen with his next assignment and how he could continue to lie while still keep her. He never had anything to lose he cared for so much as her. Not even his own life.

When a man jumped in front of them with a gun, Five instinctively pushed Vanya behind him away from the man, 'Who are you?!'

Five cursed inside his mind. It was his mark. His civilian apparently off his pills bipolar mark.

'I'm sorry,' said Five quickly and started to reach for his wallet playing like he was just an unfortunate man getting robbed on the street, 'don't hurt us, please. Take the money and-'

'Who are you?!' demanded the man the hand with the gun twitching. It was not a good sign.

Five kept Vanya firmly behind him as he heard her breathing got faster.

'I'm James Talbot-'

'Why are you following me?' asked the man, and Five couldn't believe he actually said it.

'I saw you. Yesterday, today, the day before yesterday,' said the man and then mumbled something Five couldn't understand before he said, 'I know, I know, I will ask.'

Great, so his bipolar mark was paranoid enough to notice and follow him, 'Why are you following me?'

Five shook his head pretending to be confused, 'I-I don't know you. Look, we don't want any trouble. Take the money-'

'STOP IT WITH THE MONEY!' said the man and pointed into the alley, 'Go! Go!'

Five nodded and raised his free hand still keeping Vanya behind him, 'Alright, don't do anything irrational, please.'

He made sure to keep Vanya behind him the whole time while he walked backwards into the alley away from anyone who would be on the other side of the street. It was better that way, for what Five had planned.

'Why are you following me? I know you are! I saw you. I saw you Monday, yesterday, today, you're always watching and following me. Who are you? What do you want? Who-who sent you?' asked the man moving the gun again mumbling something to himself in an unsettling way.

Five checked the entrance to the alley no one around. Vanya was there, but maybe she would understand, or he could cover it up and say he had to, but it wouldn't be an accident. He would get involved too much. The police would run a background check on him. It would be far too risky. His employees wouldn't like that. They would need to clean up which would mean get rid of anyone involved, Vanya included.

'Hey, what are you doing with that phone?' snapped the man, and Five knew he would try to get around him to get at Vanya. He used him being close and snatched the gun from him before shooting him on the spot as Vanya let out a startled yelp.

Five grabbed the phone from her hands. She was about to send a 911 text message but didn't. He deleted it before he started to wipe the fingerprints from the gun and look over the man's pockets while checking the alley.

'You-you,' he heard Vanya in the background, so he started calmly and collectively. This was his mission, his job. 'He was going to shoot you. I had to do it.'

She remained silent while he took the man's wallet, and gun and then looked around of the alley someone was coming. He grabbed Vanya's hand. He made sure they didn't leave anything essential behind and rushed them out back to their car.

'What are we doing?' she asked after ten minutes of driving, 'Making it look like a robbery gone wrong.'

He felt Vanya's gaze on him, but she didn't say anything, and he didn't look at her.

_'Do you ever think about changing your career?'_

_'Never.'_

* * *

The next day, Vanya didn't come to work. He knew because he remained close parked under her building. He had her phone. He got rid of the evidence with her and gave the money to some homeless man far away from the crime scene before drove her home. She didn't say anything the whole time. She was probably in shock or scared. Something he never wanted her to feel about him.

Then again what did he except? Killing almost two hundred people and getting a free pass?

He didn't use to be that naïve.

He got a taste of something else, something he personally gave up when he accepted the job, and now he what? Become a naïve man with a girlfriend who thought he could continue to do his job and get a happy ever after. He was fifty. He shouldn't be this stupid in his age. He should know better how this would end, and he still continued doing it and dragging her into it. He did know. He thought about it a lot. He thought about hurting her, leaving, putting her in danger, but even with his skills of observation and planning the reality was far more painful than anything he could imagine.

* * *

Five decided to come to her apartment on Friday when he got his new assignment. It should bother him how easy he got into her apartment even with her locks, but then again people were rarely as good as him.

Everywhere was dark, so he walked to her bedroom.

Vanya was lying in her bed. She wasn't asleep, he could tell. He sat down on the bed and put her phone on the nightstand.

'I'm leaving tomorrow,' he told her looking into the darkness of her apartment. It was a cute place. It was in a terrible neighborhood, but she made it work. Maybe that was why he thought it could work. That she could take someone like him and make it work or he could take someone like her and make it work.

But it couldn't work.

It just couldn't. Not now at least. Not like this at least.

'Where are you going?' she asked into the dark her voice barely louder than a whisper. Was she afraid now? She should be. She watched him kill a man and got rid of the evidence like it was nothing. Did she figure it all out now? Did she want to contact the police once he was gone? Did she want him to leave and never come back? He was never this insecure before. He never wanted his questions to be answered and yet feared he wouldn't like the answers as much as now. He never cared for anyone the way he cared for her.

'It's better if you don't know. It's better if you don't know anything,' he said and turned around to look at her, 'The people that I work for aren't good people if you go to the police and mention me they might hurt you, do you understand?'

Vanya was silent for a moment.

Five thought how much less painful it would have been if he never saved her before denying the idea. He was an idiot.

'I knew you didn't work for the insurance company,' she said and sat up. She was dressed in some t-shirt and panties. Her hair was down, and even if it was the dark of the night, she looked stunning.

'I wanted to go out for lunch once with you or see where you work, so I went to the building you said your company was in. The woman from the reception was on break so I went up on the floor which said your company's name. No one was there,' she hugged her legs, 'I thought it was a con. I didn't think you wanted to hurt me. I didn't think you wanted to sell me anywhere or murder me, but I did think it was a con,' she looked at him there was so much sadness in her voice, 'I would have let you go through with the con. I just…I really love you and you make really happy, and I would let you hurt me just to have that…even if for a while.'

Five grabbed her face and kissed her desperately clinging to her the way she did to him before they started to pull their clothes away. He wasn't planning this. He thought she would hate him. He thought he would have to convince her to stay away from the police maybe convince her to allow him to kiss her one last time as a goodbye. He wasn't planning this.

'Vanya,' he said somewhere between urgent kisses and needy burning touched, 'I love you.' He meant it.

He was an old fool in love probably for the first time in his whole damn life at the age of fifty. What a joke.

When she was curled against his chest afterward, he told her about his past. The real one. She listened in silence drawing invisible circles against his chest deep in thoughts. She didn't kick him out and didn't try to call the police so it was a good sign.

'You like the puzzles,' Vanya said after he told her about his mark on the train, 'Not the killing.'

'It's a part of it,' he said hoping she wasn't trying to make him look like a good guy here. He wasn't. He knew he wasn't and this, these moments with her weren't a reward, just something he greedily and selfishly took like he did with everything else.

'But is it a part of you?' she asked and looked up at him leaving her last circle unfinished.

When he thought about it, he knew she was right. He didn't enjoy the killing, he enjoyed finishing the puzzle, the mission. The killing was just the result of all the planning and thinking. But didn't that make it worse?

* * *

Five woke up early. He had to leave one way or another, and he rather did it with Vanya being asleep. He didn't seem capable of leaving when she was looking at him with her big brown eyes saying she loved him.

He kissed the back of her neck before he went to the bathroom. Since he first came to now he learned a lot of things about Vanya.

Vanya liked it when he made her breakfast in the morning.

Vanya liked it when he fucked her against the counter from the back.

Vanya liked to watch re-runs with him just to see his expression on episodes or scenes she liked or hated the most.

Vanya liked to leave the dishes and trash over the night and take care of it in the morning.

He grabbed the small long box from the sink and opened it. The used content was inside with a positive result.

Five looked back to Vanya's bedroom.

_'Do you ever think about changing your career?'_

* * *

It was a Monday when Five got out of the bus making sure he got the instructions from the driver right.

He walked close to the road looking around at the green grass. He once asked Vanya if she was ever anywhere but the city. She looked embarrassed when she told him she wasn't. He asked her where would she go if she could thinking anyone who never left their city by the age of thirty was missing out a lot. Apparently, at the age of fifty, you could be missing out on a lot as well if you only then met the love of your life. In that category Vanya had him beat.

_'Somewhere where's there just grass and the neighbors are miles away. Where you can see the stars and don't hear cars and just…live a happy little house on the prairie life.'_

People usually said Paris, Tokyo, Praha, Venice or pretty much anywhere else. Maybe that was the moment he fell in love with her.

The walk from the station was almost thirty minutes long. When he finally stopped by the house, he paused in track seeing the little dark-haired boy around two years old playing on the ground.

The boy looked up at him, and he felt something warm in his chest for the first time in forever as he walked to him, 'Hi.'

Five pulled out from his back a toy truck.

The boy beamed at the sight of it and took it grinning before he shouted in a way kids tended to, 'Thank you!'

Five picked him up while he continued to admire the toy almost ignoring Five. He didn't look scared of the stranger, but Five could teach him that later.

When Vanya came out of the house, she stopped in track looking at them before she crossed her arms and started to walk toward him. He would probably have to apologize. He did promise two years not almost three. She was wearing casual pants and a shirt with old sneakers. Her hair was tied up. Yet, he didn't think she ever looked more beautiful than she did now after seeing her for the first time in almost three years.

'His name is James,' she said and walked closer to the boy letting out a happy noise and showing his new toy.

'I know,' said Five and smiled at her, 'It's a good name.'

She nodded and uncrossed her arms as he put his free hand against her cheek before they pressed their foreheads together.

'Welcome back.'

_'Do you ever think about changing your career?'_

_'Only ever since I met you.'_

**Author's Note:**

> A.N: Hey, thank you for reading and the support of my works. It means a lot. I was planning to work on my other unfinished stories during the weekend, but inspiration and insomnia had other plans. I hope everyone is holding up and doing okay. I'm not sure how to show support other than this way and what to say because everyone is going through something different and struggles with different things even if right now we all struggle because of the pandemic so I just hope it will all work out for you and your family and friends and that you and your loved ones are safe and okay. Thank you again for reading, if the story managed to take your mind away from your problems at least for a bit while you read it, it served its purpose and I'm glad because that's what fics which I read and adore do for me. Anyway, have a nice day. :)


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